Patience is the key

Dear Utt

Mama is in awe how much and how fast you have grown. Last week you surprised us by dropping a feed and was waking up only once in 12 hours, giving Mama plenty of rest time at night. Although you somehow lost it yesterday and got up twice for boobies, Mama has learnt from you that as caregivers, we have to be very patient. After all, regression is part of growing up.

Mama

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

A quarter of a year old

Utt turned 3 month old yesterday and attended his first Christmas party without much big fuss until his ride back home. The boy was wailing in the car for the whole 10 minutes. Poor boy slept at 10pm, a whole 3 hours later than usual. He slept through till 6 this morning, took a feed snd went back to sleep till his usual 7 plus. Mama is praying that the night out did not screw up his schedule.

*Fingers and toes all crossed and tangled up*

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

Hardware of a Supermom

1. Arms and wrists that can bear weight for prolonged hours
2. Well trained pair of legs for pacing the room while swinging/ rocking the subject
3. A pair of boobies that never runs low on milk supply

On top of the abovementioned essentials, the following are necessary to complete major tasks:
- Ability to ninja tip toe
- Arm speed when placing the subject

Happy Sunday!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

Family portrait

The little man looking very tortured and obviously not happy.

Lol.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

Sleep deprived Mama

It was Saturday and the nanny's off day for the week. We had a great afternoon playing and putting Utt down for his naps then having our regular evening walks in the garden. And then night came and disaster happened!

Dear Utt,

Mama was so tired yesterday I believe I have rocked you very long (and hard) just so you will fall asleep without getting up in the next 30 minutes. Somehow you have been extremely difficult to put to sleep since you fell sick. Although you try many times to self soothe, it still took Mama lots of effort staring at the monitor hoping that you will not be getting up shortly after.  Mama hopes this is going to get better soon because man, this is tiring!!!

Mama

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

He's growing a little at a time.

We witnessed Utt self soothe to sleep with his own fingers last night. Today he opened his eyes when I placed him in his cot and then again he placed his hands to his mouth, had a good 5 seconds of comfort suck then dozed off.

Mama is so proud of my boy!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

嗨宝宝, 原来妈妈都一样

不知不觉已经11个礼拜． 前几天抱着你到疹所 ,护士不禁发出了惊奇的叫声.你比两个星期前又重了正正1.5公斤．算一算,你现在的体重已超过刚出生时的两倍．医生笑说7公斤的宝宝抱起来 一定挻有趣，感觉上已填满妈妈的怀抱，似乎毫无空间可言．妈妈是觉得你好重没错，但望着生病的你却有些许舍不得放手．年幼的你咳起来那么使劲. 一定很辛苦吧？顿时间，妈妈也开始心疼起外婆来了．以前从来没好好的体恤外婆的心情，总觉得她呀过于唠叨，很多时候也为了无为的事而操心．年少时夜晚外出，外婆总爱在窗旁望向大街的巴士站，或坐在客厅的沙发上 一直到我们回到家才肯安心回房．那时的我总觉得外婆她让我们外出时很有压力．外婆她的坦心似乎很无为．现在终于自已当了妈妈后才明白这一切．听到你的一声咳嗽感到而心疼、看着你因为生病而些许少吃点而感到操心，原来在妈妈们的感受中并没有所为的过于坦心和操心．这发自内心的情绪我们控制不了．你说它多余也好，反正这就是母爱．以后你或许有一天会明了，就像妈妈一样，在处身于境时才知道外婆她的坦心和操心那时母爱．

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

Oh no not again

The boy and his Sofie at 10 weeks and 1 day. Regression last night as the little man started getting up at 10.30pm then 12am, 2am, 5am and then wide awake at 6.10am! My nights are full of surprises!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

The boy is growing!

2 nights ago our boy made it to 1am before waking up for his first night feed. It was the longest sleep he had (he usually head to lala land before 8pm) and we were amazed as this took place at the 8-week mark, a day before he turned 2-month. Yesterday it was 12.30am, and still it was a very remarkable improvement from before. With the nanny here in the day, Mama has managed to squeeze in ample of rest in the day time (2 1-hour naps), run some errands and have lunch with P that does not require gobbling of food.

Things are getting better, and Utt is growing fast. Today, he napped without being swaddled for hours and it seemed like his startle reflex is going away.

Suddenly I feel that everyone else is right when they say that the little ones do grow fast!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

Insane and then sane again

After (barely) surviving 3 weeks without any help since my folks left, the nanny came to our rescue on Monday like a godsend. It was the toughest 3 weeks of my life, handling Utt alone (almost). P was here to help but frankly there is not much he could do. But I have to give him lotsa credit for taking good care of me, ensuring I get my meals, and taking care of the chores in the house. But when it comes to getting the baby to sleep, dealing with his crankiness and fussiness, it definitely wasnt P's forte. Strangely enough, I havent felt this loved by my husband. Not once, he gave me encouraging words and numerous pats on the shoulder telling me how proud he is of me, how sorry he is that I have to go through these, etc. We are both new parents but when it comes to taking care of the young man the division of duties was clear. Only then you realise that gender equality is bullshit. Equity can be strived for but never equality. There are some things that are meant for Mamas to do, that we are to assume the duties because we are created for them.

Utt is turning 2 month in a couple of days. As much as I wish he will be sitting, crawling and walking soon (and me getting back my uninterrupted sleep), the past 2 months zoomed by pretty amazingly. The little man is now making noises almost like he is responding to us, smiling and at times laughing when he is in good mood and is developing motor skills (using his hands for comfort sucking, grabbing the bottle and Mama's boobies).

Alot of things have changed and will never be the same again but I am glad that P is in it, Utt is in it and we are growing together as a family. And only in tough times do you realise how much love you have around you

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

At the breastfeeding crossroad

No one ever mentioned how difficult this is going to be. For the past 6 weeks, I have been trying to breastfeed exclusively without supplementing and hoping that supply will eventually meet demand, even that meaning having cat naps and very brief intermittent sleep at night (at times an hour of sleep followed by an hour or two of breastfeeding, burping and coaxing the little man to sleep). The ultimatum came when my boy experienced hours of frustration in the evenings, often latching and unlatching at Mama's boobies, arching his body and showing signs of discomfort. And for the whole time, usually ranging from 3-4 hours, Mama will be having him at her boobies for sessions of what I have jokingly called the Feeding Marathon. At my 6 week check up, the doctor suggested that the boy might be starving (even though he's gaining weight and is at a whopping 5.5kg, l obviously have a big eater under my roof). And so, she suggested supplementing for Mama to get some good rest cos the stress and tiredness is showing in the declining supply. I came home that day feeling lost and a little blue. I havent been an extreme big fan of breastfeeding, but was nonetheless guilt stricken when looking at little man's face while breastfeeding thinking to myself how soon this is going to end and how much I actually hated getting strapped to the sofa half of the time. He is obviously enjoying the comfort, not just the food and Mama is getting frustrated and tired by the frequency although looking down into Utt's eyes when he is happily drinking it up is priceless.

So we came home and supplemented 2 feeds with FM, hoping that the boy will be happier with a satisfied stomach. I am not sure if it is going to make any difference for me now since giving FM involves work which P has happily taken on, ie preparing the bottle, cleaning and sterilising them but the feeding has been a struggle and requires quite a bit of coaxing.

I am not denying it that I am very drained. In fact my life has not been tougher than this. Now, I am looking forward to walking down the park with little man, taking him on trips, having ice cream, going for swims, etc. I am sure this day will come soon enough. I just have to hang in there

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

Utt coming 6 weeks old

This is taken this morning, a day before Utt turns 6 weeks old. As the little man continues to gain weight, Papa tried to help relief stress off my wrist with a self made sling using bedsheet cover. Epic failure as Utt can barely fit into it.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

Post confinement relief

I think confinement after delivery is total crap. I realized today, my first unconfined day post delivery that confinement is probably the culprit for post natal blues. Being trapped at home is probably the worst way to begin motherhood and I cannot understand the logic behind this Chinese practice. Anyway, I am glad to have survived the past month! Today, we finally went shopping with Utt in my arms and had my first sashimi feast in 10 months with little man sat beside us in a stroller.

True motherhood has begun!

4 weeks of being a Mama

Sometimes you get so overwhelmed by the new responsibilities. Today, I stopped and looked at Utt and realized that despite the great changes in our lives since his arrival, he has slowly bought me over.

I can't wait for him to grow and then play, enjoy the sun and go on outings with us.

Utt at almost 3 weeks old

Since morning, little man seems to be having buffet brekkie and brunch from Mama's boobies. Finally at 11.30, he is starting to drift off to Lala land, then got up 15 minutes later asking for more. This sequence went on till 2pm, when finally little man dozed off.

Here is a picture of Utt still in the comfort of Mama's boobies, half asleep and after asking for more.

 

Looking after little man has been an amazingly tiring and tedious journey so far. It has been a round the clock routine of diaper change, breastfeeding, milking myself, etc. I am not going to pretend to love this part of motherhood because I doubt anyone sane enough will and I hope aloud that the clock will tick faster each day and things will be easier as little man gets more predictable.

The birth story (the fear of pain and the pain itself) does seem incredibly unworthy of special mention when compared to true motherhood.

@ 38 weeks and 3 days: I thought he would be here

@ 38 weeks and 2 days

 

 

Went to the gynae (who was all ready to get me induced) this morning. Spoke to her and tell her that Mama's preferred  opt is to still let Utt arrive naturally (after a week, I don't find any good reason to get him induced). Doc welcomed my opt but went on to say that "Baby's ready, he can wait till Mama is". Oh well.

Doc would be out of town from 12th and we have come to the decision that we'll wait till 10th for Utt to arrive naturally, after which induction will happen so that my gynae who I have been seeing for the past 7-8 months, will be carrying out the delivery and post-natal care. That is more like it, at least I see a need for induction to be done. 

And now, the waiting game continues. Gonggong is here and so is Popo, but stay in there till as long as you please (for now)! See you soon Utt! Very soon... very soon.

Start of hiatus from work

Today marks Day 1 of "vacation", unofficial start of my 6-month maternity leave which is supposed to begin on the 17th of September, but taking into account that I have 10 days of unused vacation leave for the year, my leave of absence from work will be starting today (sooner than planned!). Next time I'll be returning to work will be mid March. This might not be a point for celebration at all since I am really not sure if I have enough sanity to be a full time stay at home mum for 6 months, or perhaps my motherly instinct will kick in and I will be so madly in love with motherhood that I will eventually not want to return to work.

Whatever that comes, I hope everyone in the family will be enjoying the change.

Off for my last pedi and mani before arrival of the little man!

@ 37 weeks 4 days and 6 days from induction!!!

Gynae visit today narrows the wait to a week. She measured me at 1-cm dilation and effaced enough to be scheduled for an induction ("we can even have it today, if you want it!" she said)

Here you can see how much the bump has grown over the past week

 

 

The gynae was sure that Utt will arrive in a week's time (any time in the next few days if we are lucky) and has scheduled me in to be induced on the 3rd, if Utt hasn't come naturally by then. I was too overwhelmed to ask why is there a need for induction, as I would have very much prefered him to arrive as and when he pleases (plus, amniotic fluid is still at a good level and he is not overdue even by next Monday) but the queries came flooding only after I left the hospital.

 

Braxton hicks coming more frequently this morning, and damn, I am feeling so clueless now. How different exactly is braxton hicks from contractions? I am having the tight feeling at my lower tummy very frequently this morning but I am definitely not aching. If this is the signal of contraction, I am too fortunate.

To the bun in the oven: See you when you are ready

This morning, 2 colleagues, one after another, walked past my office then turned around and popped their heads in: "No baby yet?"

No, I laughed. I wish I know when exactly he'll be here with us. At 37 weeks pregnant, Utt is now considered full term (even though the due date is three weeks away). If I go into labor anytime now, his lungs will likely be mature enough to fully adjust to life outside the womb. As the pregnancy draws closer to the end, Mama-to-be gets more anxious to know how much longer the pregnancy will last. A week? Two? Three? Or even four? I've read about how 40 weeks is the average and supposedly when the baby is most ready to be introduced into the world. But seriously, the wait is killing me. Right now, "waiting" is one key word that just about sums up my life. Waiting for Utt's arrival and holding him in my arms, waiting for the bump to disappear, waiting for the long awaited maternity leave to begin, waiting for the sharp pains, mild contractions, etc. to be gone, waiting for the real contractions to arrive to get my endurance tested. But the wait is also filled with contradictory feelings of fear (as I have mentioned umpteen times before). And also fear that Utt's physically not prepared. This is perhaps the strangest part of being pregnant.

Dear Utt,

Although Mama is anxious to see you in person, Mama still wishes the best for you. On some days, Mama gets worried that if you arrive too early, you may not be ready for what awaits you out here. So little man, we'll meet when you are ready. See you when you feel that Mama's uterus is not enough for you anymore and you would like to take a peek at the real world. Mama cannot promise you that the real world is filled with fun, but your world with us will at least be filled with love. We will try our very best to make sure that you have love in abundance.

Till then,

Mama
 

Utt's nursery all ready!

Utt's play gym for motor development

Adult rest corner, for soul calming moments amidst the anticipated mayhem

Changing table with posters from his folks

Utt's cot, which he hopefully uses and does not opt for co-sleeping. Waiting for the arrival of Ewan from Singapore to complete his cot (which hopefully will give him enough comfort)

With mobile from Etsy

Close-up of the mobile, which P thought was a rip-off. I personally love it so much! It doesn't look cheesy like the other baby mobile. Its lightness allow it to rotate slowly with slight air movement, and it's very captivating to watch.

Buddy is also waiting!

 

My anxious folks are arriving next Friday and hopefully, things will be easier with 2 extra pairs of helping hands. It is always good to have them here for support, no doubt about it. And this time, it's going to be one whole month, the longest time I have spent with them so far in the past 5 years.

It's going to be an amazing journey. 

@ 36 weeks and 3 days

26 days to EDD and 5 more days to full term!!!

We were at the doc's this morning for my regular pre-natal check-up. My doc wasn't able to accurately estimate the weight of Utt as he's dropping and settling deeper into the pelvis (which she said is a good sign). The inaccurate estimation is that Utt is probably around 2.6 kg, a good size for natural birth. Doc was pretty sure that Utt will not be a ginormous baby and she gauged from my physical condition that I should not have too big a problem opting for natural birth. Papa-to-be asked me at the waiting room today if I am nervous about the arrival of Utt. I guess we both are, and I know Papa-to-be is also wondering (just like me) how different life would be for him with the arrival of the little man.

Well, things are looking good!

Pregnancy symptoms and complaints

The following is an abstract from Parents Magazine

VAGINAL PAIN

  

This may be your cervix dilating as your body prepares for labor. Find out what causes vaginal pain at the end of pregnancy and how to feel better.

   

What you may be experiencing: Late in pregnancy, you may feel pain inside the vagina- usually a sharp, piercing pain that comes and goes suddenly. What you're feeling, most likely, is your cervix dilating, or opening, as it prepares for the passage of your baby. Dilation can take place several weeks or just hours before labor begins. Normally, it's not cause for concern, but you should tell your healthcare provider about it. If the pain occurs in your lower abdomen, call your practitioner immediately.

What helps: Try relaxing in a warm shower or bath. And remember that the pain is a signal that your baby is well on its way!

-----

I had them last night. Not once or  twice, but a couple of times and it kept me up way past my bed time. Seems like the body is getting ready for the arrival of the little man. The doc's appointment next Monday may tell more about how long the wait is (also bearing in mind that the gynae can only be 50% accurate. Or maybe 30%? 20%? 10%?).

This is probably the most exciting/terrifying stage of my life. The mixture of emotions is so complex it is really beyond words can describe.

  

And so, the long wait begins.

Home blended mango smoothie!

After dinner dessert drink with fresh mangoes from MIL. She grows incredibly sweet and fragrant mangoes in her farm but can't seem to find enough demand for the supply. We got 4 from a basket of probably a couple of dozens she prepared for her regular distribution. New found way to consume them:

@ 35 weeks and 4 days

Saturday marked day 1 of week 35, signalling that Utt would be reaching full term in 12 days and could be with us any minute in 12 days.

12 days. That is less than 2 weeks. OMG.

As the big day draws close, and my body gets all tense up and ready, I recall my pregnancy journey which has been till today, been incredible and amazing. I guess I have been a dignified pregnant Mama, trying to be prepared while still carrying out my daily routine and not be perceived as a partial handicap who needs help in everything (but please rest assured that I have not been silly enough to push beyond my limits). Sometimes, P calls me the most hardworking pregnant woman. I do not see how the bump should stop me from doing some chores in the house, garden, etc. which help to keep me occupied and moving. I am seriously scared out of my wits about not being able to shed my pregnancy weight gain. And so I guess keeping my body moving all the time helps to lessen the guilt about the extra pound gained. At least I have tried. And I hope it works. I am equally fearful about the actual day, about everything that's going to happen before contractions start, during contractions and in the birth room. But then again, if motherhood is the main dish, pregnancy is just the appetiser. There would be more to worry about when little Utt arrives.

Well, we'll see... we'll see.

Our message to the small chap, inspiration from Etsy:

The Mama today:

Something's baking: Mama's pound cake!

I've halved all ingredients for my 8 inch pan and it still raised like madness. But then again, the cake was thick but yet well cooked thoroughly, guess the low temperature was working (approximately 140 deg. C).

Pound Cake Recipe from rasamalaysia

Prep: 20 min. Bake: 1 1/4 hour; Oven: 300 degree F
Makes two loaves or four mini-loaves or one 10-inch tube cake

Ingredients:

6 eggs (room temperature)
1 cup unsalted butter (8 oz.), cut into 1/2-inch pieces
8 oz. cold cream cheese, cut into 1-inch pieces
2 1/2 cups fine sugar
1 teaspoon kosher salt
4 teaspoons pure vanilla
3 cups sifted cake flour or 2 1/2 cups plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/4 cup sliced almonds

Method:
Butter and lightly flour your 8x4x2 inch loaf pans or one 10-inch tube pan. (I used baking sheet instead of butter and flour to line the inside of the 8-inch round pan. I love baking sheets,they are so easy to use!)

Beat the butter on low speed for 2 minutes and add cream cheese. Beat on low speed for 3 minutes until well-blended. While beating, add sugar, salt, and vanilla and turn the speed to medium speed for about 5 minutes until light and fluffy. Then, add eggs one at a time and continue beating.
Turn the speed to low before adding the flour. Beat the batter until well blended and smooth. Transfer batter into the pan. Shake pan gently to distribute the batter. Run a spatula in zigzag pattern through the batter and then top with sliced almonds.

Place on the pan in the center rack of a cold oven and bake at 300 degree F for 1 hour 15 minutes (I kept mine at 140 deg C.and baked for 1 hour 25 minutes) or until a cake tester comes out dry. If you are using a tube pan, bake for 1 hour 45 minutes. Transfer the pound cake to a cooling rack for about 10 minutes before removing from pans and serving.

My breakfast this morning! I would prefer it a bit sweeter and more buttery. Guess butter cake suits my palate more than pound cake.

Happy Birthday, Singapore!

It has been 5 years.

I remember attending my last NDP preview with my folks and MM in 2007, a very memorable and extremely sentimental one. 5 years on, alot of things have changed, for better or worse. Whatever, but the place that I have called my home, is still my home. Undeniably.

An article that speaks my sentiments from publichouse.sg, with parts that I feel most passionate about bold in red:
-----
A nation looking for itself by Andrew Loh

It’s National Day today. It’s been 47 years since we exited from the Federation. Singapore, after all these years, is still trying to know itself, trying to have its own identity. There have been several efforts – mostly government-led – to foster such an identity. Have they been successful? To some degree, yes. But mostly, no.

There are views that Singapore today is more divided than it ever was. I am not sure if this is true. Perhaps such views have come about because we are able to express ourselves, and hear or read our friends express the same sentiments, more clearly now, through the Internet, via social media especially.

But I don’t think we are more divided. What has happened is that Singaporeans are expressing themselves more vocally. Being divided carries a heavier meaning – like, we can't get along with each other for whatever reasons. I don’t think that’s the case, even if we’re talking about the different races or people of different religions.

What Singaporeans are unhappy with are policies which do not seem to have been for the greater good. But these have been said enough already. So I won’t repeat them.

For all its faults, and contrary to what some may say, Singapore does possess many attributes which stand it in good stead to move forward. As I have said before, all we need is leadership – leadership which is certain, open-minded, and courageous. What we want to see is a leadership which allows itself to embrace new ideas, and listen to the voices of the common man.

In short, for me personally, I would like to see our leaders embrace the things which it has so far avoided, or ridiculed, or dismissed.

I am talking about civil liberties, a level playing field in politics, the respect for free expression, and the recognition of citizens’ rights.

These things have very much been cast aside in the chase for economic growth all these years. And it is a race which has exhausted Singaporeans. Everyone can feel the strain. While the Government sets about reviewing these, as PM Lee said in his National Day message, it is time also to review these other things which have hitherto been anathema.

In short, it is about empowerment - not only of the economic kind but more so that of the human spirit.

Without an empowered people, Singapore will find it hard to engage and compete with the rest of the world. A people which is dependent on one entity (the Government) cannot be expected to have the resilience, the strength and the wherewithal to withstand the challenges which a changing world will bring, as indeed it already is bringing.

Thus, my sincere wish for National Day is that Singaporeans will – at last – be given their rights, and have spaces which were once closed opened to them to explore, to create, to express themselves in. To dare. And to do so knowing that they do not have to constantly look over their shoulders for the bogeyman.

This is how Singapore can find itself.

Our identity and the meaning to our lives as Singaporeans must be decided or determined by each Singaporean. They can only do so if they are allowed the space to do so, and not from top-down, bureaucratic decrees.

I am confident that in the years to come, we will find ourselves and finally know what it is to be Singaporean – and so will our children.

For those who feel all is hopeless, our job is not to sit and lament but to go out there and create, in spite of the odds, as our founding fathers once did.

@ 34 weeks and 5 days

Emotional prep for Mama-to-be

Had my check-up yesterday and saw that Utt is now weighing 2.14kg. He's at this moment engaged and dropping (because babies do flip and get disengaged closer to due date, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he's staying still and not getting into a breeched position that will make natural birth difficult or entirely rule out the possibility of natural birth). Every now and then, I'll get the weird tingling feeling. It's like, it can be any moment. I mean, seriously, it can be any moment (although he is still strictly speaking pre-term. But god knows). We are 39 days away from the EDD and he might be here as soon as 25 August if he decides to meet Papa and Mama once he reaches full term at 37 weeks.

OMG. This is getting surreal, and I am not even getting to the delivery process yet.

Just this morning, my Swede colleague told me that his wife Ida (who gave birth last year to a cute chubby boy here in Chiang Mai) went through birth 100% natural. That means no painkillers or epidural was involved. Absolutely NOTHING. This is like being given a big pat on the shoulder and hearing: "I'm sure you can get through this". I'm pretty sure that my threshold for pain is pretty high, but I can't be really sure if I'll be throwing in the towel because I've known ladies who took a last minute U-turn for a C-section. 

Oh well, I try to sing Que Sara Sara whenever I think of the forthcoming arrival of Utt while I feel my palms sweat a little. Papa and Mama are getting all ready now, with the nursery at it's 100% possibly tomorrow and the last batch of clothes in the washing machine tonight. Mama also started buying some toys for Utt and will be receiving this in 2-3 days time. Plan Toys are made from natural rubberwood that hasn’t been fertilized for three years before the wood is harvested and are assembled using a certified E-zero glue and are colored with water-based, non-toxic dyes. I love how simple they look and is very annoyed not to be able to find them in Chiang Mai, especially so when I am quite sure that the wood harvested is from this part of Thailand. Mama has also made her second purchase from Etsy this afternoon: a set of nice burp cloth for both the baby *ahem* and his mum.

With my finds from Etsy, I am hoping that Mama won't be looking too Mama-ish with an ugly diaper cloth across her shoulder while taking care of a burpy baby.
I hope from now till Utt's arrival, I'll be kept busy with the preparations to not have the time to sit down and think of the birth process and then getting frightened by the unknown.

It will soon be over... It will soon be over... It will soon be over...

And the apple pie leads the long weekend

Enjoying the long weekend with a visit to the masseuse then a baking experiment trying out my first apple pie:

I am so pleased with the result, all thanks to the recipe I found on allrecipe.com. The crust is super flaky and yummy. Only problem was that there's insufficient dough to cover the pie, and raisins ended up spilling out. It was my first ,so never mind the presentation.

Apple pie filling

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 3 medium sized Granny Smith apples - peeled, cored and sliced
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
• 60 grams raisins
  

Butter Flaky Pie Crust from allrecipes.com

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup butter, chilled and diced
• 1/4 cup ice water

Directions

1. In a large bowl, combine flour and salt. Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Stir in water, a tablespoon at a time, until mixture forms a ball. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate for 4 hours or overnight.
2. Roll dough out to fit a 9 inch pie plate. Place crust in pie plate. Press the dough evenly into the bottom and sides of the pie plate.
   

@ 33 weeks and 4 days

When the front view doesn't tell alot anymore, I thought having more side view shots would correctly capture the growth of the bump. Then of course, there are differing comments to the growth: some commented it's too small as Mama is into my 34 week, some said it's normal while others saw me and then went (very insensitively): "Look at how much weight you have put on. You are so (I quote) FAT!"

Gosh.

On a separate note, Mama is happy to be told that MM and CH bought their air tickets to Chiang Mai and would be spending their Christmas here with us! There are so much to look forward to in the next couple of months!

@ 32 weeks and 3 days

Officially into my 8th month, the gynae now wants to increase the frequency of my visits and meet once every 2 weeks instead. As accurately as the gynae can tell (given Utt's not-so-ideal position for measurement), the baby boy weighs 1.8 kg and is starting to put quite a bit of pressure on Mama's pelvis. Everything has been so good so far, except for that Mama is walking slower these days (and consciously avoiding the penguin walk), having shortness of breath and taking smaller bites at meal times (regurgitation seems to be an issue if I feed myself to the brim). 

It's 54 more days before the big day!

@ 31 weeks and 5 days

Beginning last Wednesday, I have started utilising the remainder of my vacation leave (18 days left in total!) and will be taking off from work every mid-week. And so, I found the time for more rest, getting up at 9am and going for my now bi-weekly swim, having my weekly foot massage, cooking up something nice for the 2 of us (yesterday was roast duck leg with apple sauce and grill lemon salmon, and P gave multiple thumb-ups for my apple sauce all cooked from scratch with granny smith apple). Taking life at such a leisure pace wouldn't be lasting for long (exactly 58 more days before Utt's arrival basing on 15 September 2012 as current EDD) and I am very glad that I am able to enjoy the last stage of my pregnancy with as little on my mind as possible.

We have been getting all prep up every since before getting back from Sg: Buying all the essentials, i.e. crib, stroller, infant car-seat, baby wear and right down to baby laundry liquid, toiletries, the ideal bathtub, wet towels, diapers etc. It's a lot of preparation to do welcoming a new life, but nothing beats the emotional prep that I am not sure if either of us are ready yet. What I do know is as far as parenting is concerned, we are theoretically on the same page (but I sometimes wonder if we will apply the theories in practice once Utt arrives, i.e. not becoming submissive parents who give in to screams/wails).

As the frequency of kicks increase and the strength of kicks get stronger, the anxiety level follows suit. It may sound a bit crazy to say this after 5 years in Thailand, but it's only now that I truly feel that my family life is beginning in a place that I have to learn call home.

@ 31 weeks

Pumpkin is the new chocolate!

P's new creation for the pregnant wife:

Pumpkin ice-cream!



Paired it with scone this afternoon for Mama's delightful after-lunch dessert time. Yummy and finger licking good. Got to give P a pat on the shoulder for making vast improvements in his journey as an ice-cream chef but with 2 cups of full cream getting into the ice-cream (along with 1 cup of sugar and 6 egg yolks), this got to be a very sinful after meal craving.

TGIF!

Is she fat, or what? + Utt's nursery 50% done up

With Utt getting close to 8 months, Buddy can hardly come on my lap anymore. He has to settle for lying on the carpet close to me, and placing his head on my lap for some head patting moments.

I sometimes wonder if Buddy is puzzled about what is happening to this monkey friend of his. Deep down inside, he may be lamenting how unfair life is as the monkey feeds herself so much that her tummy is growing at an unstoppable rate.

Getting Utt's room prep for his arrival. Still many things undone: his mobile is arriving in a week, linens and his clothes are unwashed, cover for his changing mat is not sewn (but I guess we still have plenty of time for these!)

 
.... and everyone's waiting!

@ 30 weeks and 1 day

My Papa

Today marks a very special day. My Papa is 64 today. This day, he is also enjoying his first day as a retiree. I called home in the afternoon to make sure that he is doing fine on his first day as an official retiree, something that we all guess he would not be and need some time to get used to. Having dedicated 3 decades of his working life to the same company, retiring is not just about finally getting time off for some well-deserving rest, it also means adjusting to life without the place and people he is so familiar with.

I am very grateful for the fact that his company and his colleagues, some like family to him, have given him a very warm and unforgettable farewell. Being in the limelight is not something my dad is used to, but departing on a high note does mean something to him. I know he is happy, and it touches me to see his zest as he spoke about his farewell party.

My Papa is a very special man, not just because obviously because he's my Papa. My Papa is very passionate about work yet not a workaholic - I have not known anyone in this 30-year life of mine who is so in love with his job but yet is able to withdraw from it once he knocks off. He is always placing himself behind the people he loves and he never scrimps when it comes to meeting our needs and wants. And he's one funny guy who is always high spirited, I have almost forgotten when was the last time I see him down. There is close to nothing more we can ask from him as a Papa/husband.

And so from this day on, I hope my Papa will be blessed with good health. Good health that allows him to enjoy the many many more good years to come. Good health to grow old together with Mama. Good health to see his 2 darling daughters entering the next phase of their lives as Mamas and good health to see his grandchildren growing up, going to school and entering college.

Mama having some fun at the manicurist's