At the breastfeeding crossroad

No one ever mentioned how difficult this is going to be. For the past 6 weeks, I have been trying to breastfeed exclusively without supplementing and hoping that supply will eventually meet demand, even that meaning having cat naps and very brief intermittent sleep at night (at times an hour of sleep followed by an hour or two of breastfeeding, burping and coaxing the little man to sleep). The ultimatum came when my boy experienced hours of frustration in the evenings, often latching and unlatching at Mama's boobies, arching his body and showing signs of discomfort. And for the whole time, usually ranging from 3-4 hours, Mama will be having him at her boobies for sessions of what I have jokingly called the Feeding Marathon. At my 6 week check up, the doctor suggested that the boy might be starving (even though he's gaining weight and is at a whopping 5.5kg, l obviously have a big eater under my roof). And so, she suggested supplementing for Mama to get some good rest cos the stress and tiredness is showing in the declining supply. I came home that day feeling lost and a little blue. I havent been an extreme big fan of breastfeeding, but was nonetheless guilt stricken when looking at little man's face while breastfeeding thinking to myself how soon this is going to end and how much I actually hated getting strapped to the sofa half of the time. He is obviously enjoying the comfort, not just the food and Mama is getting frustrated and tired by the frequency although looking down into Utt's eyes when he is happily drinking it up is priceless.

So we came home and supplemented 2 feeds with FM, hoping that the boy will be happier with a satisfied stomach. I am not sure if it is going to make any difference for me now since giving FM involves work which P has happily taken on, ie preparing the bottle, cleaning and sterilising them but the feeding has been a struggle and requires quite a bit of coaxing.

I am not denying it that I am very drained. In fact my life has not been tougher than this. Now, I am looking forward to walking down the park with little man, taking him on trips, having ice cream, going for swims, etc. I am sure this day will come soon enough. I just have to hang in there

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