Over

Finally, it's the big day and we got through it with one glitch or two other than that, everything else was good. Mdm hasn't given presentation for a long time, this first in Chiang Mai did make me get very nervous.

Mdm is having some problem in life. Something that I cannot figure out about it myself. When I got married, I moved to Chiang Mai. I thought that distance doesn't matter. It does not hit me that it does, and sometimes, it makes me very upset. All doesn't matter because I have been very happy here with P. Everything is simple, not always beautiful, but at least there are lotsa things to make me smile. Maybe me being away from everything, being here just for him, makes me very fragile. I have to, for once in my life, depend and rely on someone. In my r/s with my folks, MM and even ex, I always get what I want. MM said this is the biggest change in me. It's interesting how in life, a couple each plays a strong role, and a weak role. But it's not easy to play them both.

P's emotions swing alot and it's not easy to go with it. I tried in the past years and I learn to observe them and to react according to how his mood swings. Sometimes, things just change, plans just change. As and when mood swings for reasons I do not know, things change. I feel helpless. I feel helpless about my situation, helpless about being here, helpless about what I should do with my life, and I am completely clueless.

Seriously, it's not because of him. It's not about my situation now. It's just about how I feel about my life. If I could, I really don't feel like living this life anymore. I feel so tired that life has to filled with ups and downs and there are things that you simply cannot control. I hope everyone has the guts to face their weakest link, accept his error and improve for the better.

Left, right... or what?

This test is pretty interesting. According to research, no one person is actually a total righty or lefty. Mdm for example writes with my right hand, other than this I do almost everything else with my left buddy. At some point, I actually felt confused and I was and is still very repulsive towards playing sports that require me to determine which is my dominant side. That is also why I guess, I prefer swimming (and even jogging) to playing racquet games.

1. Imagine the centre of your back is itching. Which hand do you scratch it with?
2. Interlock your fingers. Which thumb is uppermost?
3. Imagine you are applauding. Start clapping your hands. Which hand is uppermost?
4. Wink at an imaginary friend straight in front of you. Which eye does the winking?
5. Put your hands behind your back, one holding the other. Which hand is doing the holding?
6. Someone in front of you is shouting but you cannot hear the words. Cup your ear to hear better. Which ear do you cup?
7. Count to three on your fingers, using the forefinger of the other hand. Which forefinger do you use?
8. Tilt your head over on to one shoulder. Which shoulder does it touch?
9. Fixate a small distant object with your eyes and point directly at it with your forefinger. Now close one eye. Now change eyes. Which eye was open when the fingertip remained in line with the small object? (When the other eye, the non-dominant one, is open and the dominant eye is closed, the finger will appear to move to one side of the object.)
10. Fold your arms. Which forearm is uppermost?

About work, HDB flat and our dog

Mdm had been very busy at work for the past few weeks. Since getting back from Sg, I have been busy preparing for the opening of our new resource center. Finally, our website (which I created from scratch!) is up and ready. Not uber impressive but considering that I managed to set it up in 3 days, I thought this is rather presentable.

When work is hectic, time passes really fast. This week just zoomed past and before you know it, April would be here very soon (which is good b/c Mdm will be having quite a number of day offs in April)! I have previously planned to make a trip home this April. One, to visit and two, to sign agreement for our flat. Anyway, long story short, the path to getting our place in Singapore is bumpy and we are still appealing. I hope HDB would get back to us soon so that we can settle everything asap. This meaning that I can only make plans after HDB informs me of our application results (which I hope is going to be very soon).

We watched Marley and Me yesterday. I wouldn't say it is a tearjerker b/c the touching parts are pushed to the end and the build up to it wasn't that fantastic but I can relate to it especially now that my dog is considered middle age and very soon, she would be an elderly. Watching Owen Wilson in the beginning of the movie reminded me of the days we first got her back from the breeder: her whining at night, her potty training sessions, us taping the newspaper to the floor and her tearing them up etc. She was with us when we shifted out during the renovation period and I can recall her joy when we moved back to our current place.

Seriously, she has been an amazing dog. She gives us nothing but joy and has never been a dog who has any disciplinary problem. This adorable cute little thing is certainly our pride.

Sushi anyone?

P and I went to his friend's place yesterday for some homemade sushi, booze and local TV. We spent a whopping 800 baht on some fresh salmon, saba fish and beverages. Seriously, this is very expensive considering that we can get a really nice dinner buffet at Shangri-la Hotel at just 300-400 odd per person.

And now, Mdm has an idea. What about a sushi buffet at my place in April?

What Do Your Initials Say About You?

You Are Lighthearted and Hilarious

When You Are Comfortable: You are a carefree, adventurous person. You love excitement, and you enjoy being in a changing, dynamic environment. People find you to be funny, generous, and competent. You're well spoken, and you know how to wow people with your words. When You Are At Your Best: You are a powerful, competitive person. While you want to succeed, you are also able to find balance in your life. People see you as self-sufficient. They are impressed by how much you are able to do on your own. When You Are in a Social Setting: You are cutting edge, offbeat, and even a little weird. You are fascinated with trends and technology. People see you as a bit strange. They're not sure what they should expect of you. You are definitely apt to do your own thing.

What Do Your Initials Say About You?

Life

Mdm’s typing this in Microsoft word first b/c the internet connection here in the University is down. AGAIN.

In another 20 minutes, I would be having my first oral examination. I had my second written test yesterday, which I doubt I fared well since I didn’t have enough time (and patience) to revise thoroughly the night before.

Mdm went for my virgin solo haircut yesterday (i.e. without P’s escort) then bought some takeaway to feed ourselves. The guy at the eatery was full of praises (as per most Thais) when he heard me speaking in Thai. We had a small talk and when my food was ready, he dug into one of his drawers for a leaflet and passed it to me.

“Practice to read this menu in Thai” he said.

Sometimes the stark differences between Singapore and Thailand leaves me bewildered. It’s not about how developed Singapore is and how inefficient things can be here in Thailand, but it’s about the people (I know doing such a comparison would be generalization, nevermind). And here in Thailand, things are kept simple (except for the immigration procedures of course). People are generally satisfied with life the way it is. Seriously, being here makes me see things less materialistically.

When I was back in Singapore 2 weeks ago, I had the chance to sit down and talk to my cousins in greater length about my life here in Chiang Mai. I can’t really make any fair comparisons b/c life here is very different. For e.g. here I have my husband, less friends, miss my family and friends but so much more simplicity in life. At least my life is not eaten by my job. People make jokes (and still are) about how I (as in I a.k.a. Miss Chong the material girl who lives in a material world) can give up the comforts of urban life and make less than a quarter of what I used to earn. Seriously, these doesn't bother me much as it bothers you.

Of my extended family

Mdm spent 6 physically draining days back in Singapore, sleeping less than 12 hours for the last 3 nights. At 8 plus yesterday night, I collapsed on the bed and finally managed to have some quality rest.

The last time our family grieved was probably 10 odd years ago, when my granny passed away unexpectedly. My aunt's passing on was kinda different. She was sick for a long time and we probably see it coming but didn't expect it to be so soon. At 49, she was the youngest in the family and with family traditions and superstitions at play, her elder siblings couldn't participate in the rituals and processions. The responsibilities kinda fell onto the shoulders of Generation X. Somehow, the transfer of duties and getting yourself heard in a family dominated by decision makers made me felt for once like a grown-up.

Spending time intensively with my extended family reminded me of the times when my grandparents were still around. My cousins and I are all grown ups now, with more than half married and the youngest 2 enlisting for NS next year, and I am grateful that we continue to share close ties. Growing up in a huge family, I wouldn't say it is easy but sure it's filled with lotsa laughters. I love to think that I have lotsa sisters and brothers, who are willing to share and to love, cherish our r/s and are always there for one another.