Finally, it's the big day and we got through it with one glitch or two other than that, everything else was good. Mdm hasn't given presentation for a long time, this first in Chiang Mai did make me get very nervous.
Mdm is having some problem in life. Something that I cannot figure out about it myself. When I got married, I moved to Chiang Mai. I thought that distance doesn't matter. It does not hit me that it does, and sometimes, it makes me very upset. All doesn't matter because I have been very happy here with P. Everything is simple, not always beautiful, but at least there are lotsa things to make me smile. Maybe me being away from everything, being here just for him, makes me very fragile. I have to, for once in my life, depend and rely on someone. In my r/s with my folks, MM and even ex, I always get what I want. MM said this is the biggest change in me. It's interesting how in life, a couple each plays a strong role, and a weak role. But it's not easy to play them both.
P's emotions swing alot and it's not easy to go with it. I tried in the past years and I learn to observe them and to react according to how his mood swings. Sometimes, things just change, plans just change. As and when mood swings for reasons I do not know, things change. I feel helpless. I feel helpless about my situation, helpless about being here, helpless about what I should do with my life, and I am completely clueless.
Seriously, it's not because of him. It's not about my situation now. It's just about how I feel about my life. If I could, I really don't feel like living this life anymore. I feel so tired that life has to filled with ups and downs and there are things that you simply cannot control. I hope everyone has the guts to face their weakest link, accept his error and improve for the better.
Mdm is having some problem in life. Something that I cannot figure out about it myself. When I got married, I moved to Chiang Mai. I thought that distance doesn't matter. It does not hit me that it does, and sometimes, it makes me very upset. All doesn't matter because I have been very happy here with P. Everything is simple, not always beautiful, but at least there are lotsa things to make me smile. Maybe me being away from everything, being here just for him, makes me very fragile. I have to, for once in my life, depend and rely on someone. In my r/s with my folks, MM and even ex, I always get what I want. MM said this is the biggest change in me. It's interesting how in life, a couple each plays a strong role, and a weak role. But it's not easy to play them both.
P's emotions swing alot and it's not easy to go with it. I tried in the past years and I learn to observe them and to react according to how his mood swings. Sometimes, things just change, plans just change. As and when mood swings for reasons I do not know, things change. I feel helpless. I feel helpless about my situation, helpless about being here, helpless about what I should do with my life, and I am completely clueless.
Seriously, it's not because of him. It's not about my situation now. It's just about how I feel about my life. If I could, I really don't feel like living this life anymore. I feel so tired that life has to filled with ups and downs and there are things that you simply cannot control. I hope everyone has the guts to face their weakest link, accept his error and improve for the better.
1 comment:
Silly sis, unhappiness in part of life. Nobody will oways be happy. We learn and grow in times of adversity.
You'll oways hav our support and love. Never give up on life.
We love you.
Take care.
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