I was having my usual weekly Chinese tuition class with my elder niece (T) and somehow, we started discussing about travelling. T was telling me how much she would like to travel around the world when she's a grown-up (she's only 12). The girl invited me to do a one-month trip with her cos she thought I would be a very useful travel companion (given that I can speak both English and Mandarin). Anyway, she went on rattling about wanting to be an air stewardess so that she can both work and fulfill her travelling dreams. It was hard for me to explain my feelings about hearing this from a 12-year-old but I knew for sure that I felt very touched.
I remembered I told someone once that I wanted to be a lawyer, reason not being I really want to, but I was kinda embarassed by my aunt's "what do you mean you don't have an ambition?". I blurted "Lawyer." just to end the topic on a celebratory note. As compared to MM (who had wanted to be a nurse, policewoman, teacher etc.), I didn't ever seem to really want anything. I was too busy trying to be good at things I don't even know why I have to be good at them for.
Thinking back, I think I might have them, but I didn't have the courage to actually pursue what might seem not to be right for me.
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