Before the big change

Things have been evolving since the beginning of 2015.

This is an incredibly busy year for me at  work. The first quarter of the year had been crazy. Aside from the increased work load, there were the trips every fortnight till I was 32 weeks preggy.

And yes being pregnant with an active toddler is at times quite a challenge. Particularly so when the boy is in love with mommy and would like mommy to be doing things for him and with him. And this is not an easy pregnancy, plagued with bouts of morning sickness, sleeplessness, heart burn, and the list goes on. At 36 weeks, the house is in a mess undergoing reno and I am keeping my fingers crossed that dd with stay in there for a few more weeks, at least till the house is ready.

At this moment, mommy is wishing to be able to spend more time with #1. The guilt of sharing mommy time with dd when he arrives is killing me.

Things will be different

Hola Chang'E!

7th year away from home on this very special day which reminds me fondly of the moments we had as a family/ extended family. The paper lanterns, the candles, the trips up to the B.B. Hill and Little Guilin, the obsession with 2 yolks (then later 4 yolks) mooncakes (the original, the Teochew, the snow skin, the ice-cream).

You never know how powerful memories are until you start reminiscing.

To #2

On some days it felt like everything has normalised and the hectic schedule in the past week has made things gotten a bit better. The occasional quiet moments remain torturous and when the mind stops being occupied by work, by the toddler who is becoming more irresistible each and every day and by everything going in life, the feeling of loss is overwhelming. So to my #2 who eventually decided not to come to us: I would have tried everything I could, if I had the chance to. Just want to let you know that Papa and Mama had been very excited by the thought of you joining our small cosy family and you little baby, you will be missed.

Dilemmas of parenthood

The nanny hasn't been here for 4 days now and we are doing alright. Papa managed to attend to his errands with Utt in tow on Day 2, a first for the pair and spent most of the day together while Mama was away at work.

Vday went by with plans that fell through since the nanny was away taking care of her own bub. Change of arrangements means a change of plans, nothing new with having a toddler. We went for meals as a family with Utt being an angel both during lunch and dinner, which was an incredible vday gift from the boy.

This morning Utt busied himself with the shape sorter, chasing Homer around with the walker, enactment of household chores done by the nanny, simply rolling around the sand bag, etc. And then I recall Ida mentioning the independent play stage that comes at a certain age and seems to be nearing for Utt.

I hugged him this morning and said I love him and wish he would never grow. Papa assured that I wouldn't like to be cleaning ass till Utt turns 40.

Dividing Mama's love

Dear Utt

A lot of times Mama look at you and wonder if I can love the next baby the same, and if Mama's love will be limitless and I am able to provide you with the same attention and care when the next arrives.

Thanks for the joys in 2013 and I am sure there are many more cherishable moments to come.

Love,
Mama

Sweet little thing

The boy is in love with his Mama.

 

Everything in the last month

Alot has happened over the past weeks and by alot, I mean ALOT.

We went on our first family trip to Tokyo, a tiring but to be remembered trip, at least by the parents (and who cares if the boy most probably won't remember a single thing. It is the experience that matters!). It is a lot of bonding time for the three of us and we haven't spent that much time together as a nuclear family since he was 2 months old, so this meant alot to us.

And coming back home in mid-November to a disasater struck Philippines meant work immediately, which was followed by meetings, preparation of the workshop, and then spending a week darting around during the actual workshop itself. And when Mama finally has the time to catch my breath, it is where I am now -- Dhaka, away from the boys, getting stuck in the hotel due to ongoing riots and nursing a flu due to the bad air!

2 weeks to the arrival of our first guest from North America, 1 month to the arrival of Gong gong and Po po , 2 months to CNY and 3 months to a new baby!

And now you know why people say "time flies"!!!

Hibernating... not hibernating

Been pretty busy lately: preparing for the party, spending time with my couz who was here for a week (Mama love, love, love having my precious family around) and planning for our first family trip with the boy this fall.

WE ARE GOING TO TOKYO THIS NOVEMBER!!! =)

The cat chaser

The buddy lost and ended up with 4 scratches on his head.

Clawed by a cat, this got to be the biggest  blow for a dog.

To our first girl

Thank you for the past 11 years.

 

You know we love you and will always do

 

XOXO

 

Mama bullying

The real boss in the house

Look Ma, I can swim

The little man with his Popo having a leisure Sunday

 

 

When the man takes charge

Today is the first day Papa is trying his hands in putting Mini to sleep all by himself, meaning bathing then feeding and singing the Mini lullabies before putting him down into his cot and sneaking out of his room.

And Papa did it!

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Testosterone filled to the brim

The man, Mini and the buddy.

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Family portrait

The little man looking very tortured and obviously not happy.

Lol.

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My Papa

Today marks a very special day. My Papa is 64 today. This day, he is also enjoying his first day as a retiree. I called home in the afternoon to make sure that he is doing fine on his first day as an official retiree, something that we all guess he would not be and need some time to get used to. Having dedicated 3 decades of his working life to the same company, retiring is not just about finally getting time off for some well-deserving rest, it also means adjusting to life without the place and people he is so familiar with.

I am very grateful for the fact that his company and his colleagues, some like family to him, have given him a very warm and unforgettable farewell. Being in the limelight is not something my dad is used to, but departing on a high note does mean something to him. I know he is happy, and it touches me to see his zest as he spoke about his farewell party.

My Papa is a very special man, not just because obviously because he's my Papa. My Papa is very passionate about work yet not a workaholic - I have not known anyone in this 30-year life of mine who is so in love with his job but yet is able to withdraw from it once he knocks off. He is always placing himself behind the people he loves and he never scrimps when it comes to meeting our needs and wants. And he's one funny guy who is always high spirited, I have almost forgotten when was the last time I see him down. There is close to nothing more we can ask from him as a Papa/husband.

And so from this day on, I hope my Papa will be blessed with good health. Good health that allows him to enjoy the many many more good years to come. Good health to grow old together with Mama. Good health to see his 2 darling daughters entering the next phase of their lives as Mamas and good health to see his grandchildren growing up, going to school and entering college.

And then he left

FIL passed away 2 days ago. Although he had once puzzled me with the restrictions imposed on my choice of clothing, I have otherwise had an amicable time with him. He was a man who deserved a lot of respect. If Nok is like his father, he would be a very influential and successful business person.

And now with the head of the family gone, everyone is busying themselves preparing for the funeral. Business is not giving way for time to grieve at this moment. I know things will be okay for P, who is taking things well since his dad had not been in good shape for a long time now. Nok had seen death as an inevitable relief for his father. I hope mum and SIL will be too, but it would be very hard for the two ladies of the family whose lives have been always dependent on him.

As I am experiencing another death, one closer to me than the other, I started truly feeling how fast I am ageing (yes, ageing). Life is not just too short to be wasted, life is also too short to be too careful about. Let your instincts lead the way and experience whatever that comes.

Rain before the heat

It has been raining quite a bit for the past few days, an expected weather change before the temperature rises in mid April. Buddy has to stay indoor the entire day, something that he's not so used to, especially when he doesnt get his toilet breaks outside. He still does it in the indoor tray, but only when he needs to and when he doesn't have the choice to enjoy the sun outside.

And here is Buddy with his friend, separated by the glass door. No dog play today.

Buddy of Buddy

He sneaks out of his house (literally, through the grilles) when he hears our car at the porch because he knows that is the time for him to get in and play with Buddy in our garden

 

 

He is the boss

And we are his human pillow