Sweet little thing

The boy is in love with his Mama.

 

Everything in the last month

Alot has happened over the past weeks and by alot, I mean ALOT.

We went on our first family trip to Tokyo, a tiring but to be remembered trip, at least by the parents (and who cares if the boy most probably won't remember a single thing. It is the experience that matters!). It is a lot of bonding time for the three of us and we haven't spent that much time together as a nuclear family since he was 2 months old, so this meant alot to us.

And coming back home in mid-November to a disasater struck Philippines meant work immediately, which was followed by meetings, preparation of the workshop, and then spending a week darting around during the actual workshop itself. And when Mama finally has the time to catch my breath, it is where I am now -- Dhaka, away from the boys, getting stuck in the hotel due to ongoing riots and nursing a flu due to the bad air!

2 weeks to the arrival of our first guest from North America, 1 month to the arrival of Gong gong and Po po , 2 months to CNY and 3 months to a new baby!

And now you know why people say "time flies"!!!

The monster named Molar

This is the boy getting calmed by the frozen teether.

 

Having the 3 first molars all cutting  at the same time with the 4th one coming is no joke. And so the little boy has been having a big boy temper for the past few days, getting very hard to please, fussy and on top of it the night awakenings have returned (oh no!). The first at 2 a.m. on Monday night ended with Mama in his room giving him cuddles and having a totally sleep deprived physical body (yes, this is how things are. As though Mondays are not bad enough) and last night the boy managed to put himself back to sleep but only after 15 minutes of wailing at 4.30a.m.

 

11+1 milk teeth out, 8 more to go!!!

 

This is... my boy!

Mama loves using the Priddy series with Utt and it is interesting to see how different he is now compared to months ago when books go nowhere but into his mouth. After his daily evening shower, Mini will be pointing at the shelf where the Taro Gomi box set from Ah Yi is and when Mama goes "Shall we read Taro Gomi before bed?", Mini will be nodding and clapping his hands. We usually begin our session with Mama pointing at the pictures going "This is a CAT", "This is a DOG"... And so yesterday we heard Mini going "This is..." "This is..." pointing at the various pictures, mimicking Mama. This morning Mama turned to a page with many items all on a page and he pointed to the cat and said "CAT!"

This is so cute and fun.

Parenting in a competitive world

This morning P and I went to the pediatrician with the little man for his MMR shot and 12-month review. To Mama's dismay, the pediatrician was in astonishment and was frowning throughout the session when she heard that the little man hasn't spoken his first word. Although he has been going gibberish for a while now, it has been done rather indiscriminately. He doesn't direct his "Mama mama" only to me and sometimes he goes "Baba baba" in Papa's absence. The pediatrician reacted like the little man is having some speech impediment and was talking about speech therapy for him if the first word doesn't come out. What came as an attack on our parenting skill was for her to judgementally say that we should stop using IT gadgets with the boy and how we should speak more to him if not he would be progressing slower than his peers. That was before asking us how we interact with the little man in a typical day.

 

Seriously? My boy is only 12 month old. And hello doctor, we don't own ipads. In fact tablets are so underused in our household that we gave it away to grandpa. Mama only let the little man watches Baby Einstein or listens to nursery rhymes from the Samsung in the car when he gets fussing on the way home after an evening out. Considering the distance, maybe he spend at most 10-15 minutes watching them. And little man watches TV like once per week, never more than half an hour. I am not judging parents who do use IT gadgets, but P and I have decided long before we had the boy that we would be subscribing to animated pedagogical agents, i.e. face-to-face interaction in interactive learning environments.

 

What annoyed me the most was the "your boy is progressing slower than his peers". Do I even have to tell a pediatrician that kids develop at different pace and mind you, this is not a competition. He is not getting a prize for walking at 9 month old or saying his first word at 11 month old. My son is only 12 months old, please give him a break. So what if he is picking up things slightly slower than others? He has a life time to walk and talk (and shitting into the potty).

So yes, we are changing pediatrician.

This whole incident at the pediatrician's reminded me of a chatty lad who was entertaining the little man while sharing his parenting knowledge with us (being a father of 3) on our way back from Singapore. We were chatting openingly and then came the "Where is he going to school?", "Singapore or Chiang Mai?"  question which we get quite alot since having the little man. Well, we were frank with him when we said we ain't that sure but Mama thinks that it is good to keep him by our side till at least he enters elementary school. And then he went "Oh, he will have a hard time coping with the syllabus in Singapore", "He will be asked to stay back for 1-2 years and will lose out to his peers". For one thing you know, I may have a genius son. Even not, what is the big fuss that he is 1-2 years behind? What exactly is wrong with us that we have to be driven by how our peers are progressing? Haven't we met enough people in our lives who were so motivated and topping their cohort but turning out to be people who were being slave driven and having not enough time to enjoy lives?

 

Right now, all I want for my son is to grow up healthy and happy. I will think about the rest later, thank you.

 

A note to our 1 year old

Dear Utt,

Mama survived the first year! Oh, motherhood... what a journey!

Thanks and lots and lots of love to you my sweetie pie. Thanks for bringing so much joy and laughters, and thanks for letting Mama learn so much about myself.

No hugs and kisses are enough for you.

 

Love always,

Mama 

Sweetest little thing

My precious and kissable little man

 

2 more days!

Hibernating... not hibernating

Been pretty busy lately: preparing for the party, spending time with my couz who was here for a week (Mama love, love, love having my precious family around) and planning for our first family trip with the boy this fall.

WE ARE GOING TO TOKYO THIS NOVEMBER!!! =)

Sorry bao bei

This is the first time Mama lost it at at the dining table. When patience is tested Mama realised that she still has a long way to go in becoming a Mama who puts her baby before everything else in the whole wide world

Sorry lil man.

The cat chaser

The buddy lost and ended up with 4 scratches on his head.

Clawed by a cat, this got to be the biggest  blow for a dog.

To our first girl

Thank you for the past 11 years.

 

You know we love you and will always do

 

XOXO

 

Mama bullying

The real boss in the house

Unpredictable palate

The little man had spelt pasta with homemade sauce (steamed capsicum+tomatoes cooked in a bit of butter with a wee bit of whip cream, pureed for consistency) for dinner last evening. The nanny was shocked to see Mama cooking capsicum for the little man and I guess she would have placed a bet if she could that little man won't like it. Mama was also trying my luck. He likes them roasted doesn't mean he takes them pureed. And tomatoes? One of his least favourite. At the dining table last evening, little man surprised Mama when he polished his food with no hesitation. 

This morning Mama made 3 ramekins of horribly tasting mango pudding (I swear it tasted like puke). In my attempt to save the puddings I added pumpkin puree, which frankly didn't do much. Mama was about to trash the food but wanted to tease the little man before the food went into the bin. He ended up eating 2 ramekins of puke tasting pudding. And this is probably one of the easiest feeding session in weeks.
 

And they say, taste is subjective!
 

Things to remember as a Mama #2

And then, it's year 6!

6 years married.

 

Gosh. Where did the time go?

 

Went by the day with a simple date lunch,  in the theatres for Man of Steel then ended it off with a family dinner at an italian restaurant that we hadn't been in eon (little man was making abit of fuss, probably due to the lack of sleep and getting tired out at the pool).

 

No fanfare but with a small gift for each other on this special day. Life is blissful as it is now (would do better with a little more sleep when little man sleeps better).

 

And so I thank you and you for warming my heart. Less is more, indeed!

 

My happy little monster

This is big boy this morning: staring into the camera which was set on the self shot function, saw his Mama and himself in the phone display and then let out his infectious laughters.

Baby, oh my little baby. 

Cheeky monkey

This is how cheeky the little man had become.

At 9 months old

38 weeks inside Mama's tummy and 39 weeks out.

 

Presenting our little man, a.k.a. Mr. Fidget
 

Food of love for the little man #8 - oatmeal with sesame powder

Flavoured with apple and peach cubes =)
 

Little man's development

This past month the boy started pulling himself up to stand and has figured out how to sit after standing. He also begin to sit in a kneeling position. This week,  he also started cruising, moving from one piece of furniture to the next for support.

 

In the next few weeks or months, the boy may find the courage to let go and stand on his own. Then comes taking his first step.

 

It is a joy watching the little man learning new skills. Absolutely nothing beats this.

Little man's self feeding journey

We started giving him puffs as finger food few days ago.

Day 1, he was doing what he did with his bananas, i.e. attempting to squash it then cheekily picked it up, stretched out his sides and then releasing it for the dog (who's happily waiting for his little friend to drop food scraps for him).

Day 2, Mama showed him by using a wee bit of force and went "Look honey, bend your arms and pop the puff into your mouth."

Day 3, little man self fed but only when the puffs were placed in between his tiny fingers. Mama went "You lazy bum. Pick them up and get your pincher grasp trained!"

Day 4, Mama continued to place puffs randomly on his food tray and the little man tried picking them up. He occasionally dropped them, but never intentionally.

Day 5, little man is a pro.

Look Ma, I can swim

The little man with his Popo having a leisure Sunday

 

 

Mama away from home

First time away from little man, he seems to be doing fine but not Mama. Mama slept past midnight for the first time in months and got up at 6, as usual.

Papa joked about Mama enjoying the bed all by herself, without fear of night awakenings. Mama is trying to enjoy my 2 nights in Bangkok but have made 2 calls back home already (and it is only 8 a.m.!)

Travelling for work is not going to be easy. Ever.

Food of love for the little man #7 - quinoa

Little man started quinoa 2 days ago. This morning's brekkie with the nutty flavoured seed:

 

1/4 cup of quinoa cooked in 1 cup of water for 20-25 minutes. Fluff with fork then add applesauce and pureed pear (1 cube each), then serve!

The boy in his spiderman suit from Auntie Samantha. The little man has outgrown yet another baby wear, the spiderman wannabe can barely fit his thighs through the bottoms (and this is a size 80!)

 

Getting the little people to like their brown rice porridge

Yesterday's dinner was brown rice porridge with pureed pumpkin and green pea. Little man took it with no protest and was for the first time screaming (literally) for more. Granny cooked 2 tablespoons of ground brown rice in 225ml of soup stock for more than half an hour over a low fire and the texture was extremely smooth. And so, Mama knows now that little man is actually okay with his grains, just that time is the essence.

Food of love for the little man #6 - oatmeal cereal (with pics)

A thawed frozen cube of pureed peach and 1/4 cup of ground oatmeal.

 

 

 

Little man took his breakfast heartily in record time!

Food of love for the little man #6 - oatmeal cereal

Finally started oatmeal this morning. Man, this should be done way earlier. Little man gobbled down and finished his food in less than 15 mins (this is record time for brekkie. On some dreadful mornings, Mama spent close to 45 mins at the breakfast table with the little one, whose impatience shot up as the clock ticked).

Recipe for morning's brekkie
1/4 cup of ground rolled oatmeal
1 cup of water
1 oz of peach puree

Method
Simmer 1 cup of water and as it boils turn to low heat and add in the ground rolled oatmeal. Keep whisking and cook till desired texture (should be done for more than 10 mins for oatmeal to be well cooked for the little tummies). Add in 1 cube of peach puree and serve!

Sidenote: Mama's Mama is here (FINALLY!) and she did the feeding this morning. Mama's Mama is happy (for seeing the cute little one), Mama is happy (for the 1 month worth of home cooked food), Papa is happy (for longer mornings spent in bed) and the little one is happy (for the company and the love!)!

Hip hip HORRAY!!!

Food of love for the little man #5 - wheat germ

Little man's brekkie this morning: 3 tablespoon of brown rice cereal with 2 oz of breastmilk, a tablespoon of wheat germ and his all time favourite - banana!

Food of love for the little man #4 - salmon

Little man getting his fish treat: 1oz of salmon + 1 cube of green pea + 1 cube of pear

Food of love for the little man #3 - brown rice porridge

Little man's breakfast (looks more like risotto than congee): 2 tablespoon of ground brown rice cooked in 225 ml of soup stock (pork round, carrot, sweet potato and pumpkin slow boiled for 3 hours) and broccoli florets on slow heat for 15 mins then top with mild cheddar cheese. Unfortunately Utt seems to not really enjoy grains.  He took almost 45 mins for his meal. He still prefers his applesauce, pear and banana. Next on the food adventure list is salmon fish!

 

About how a (going to be) 8 month old has changed our marriage

It has been  long time since I blogged about anything that is non-Utt related. It is hard to believe how our lives have been over the last few months, revolving around the young chap at least 90 percent of the time. Papa said time over time that our lives have changed - not essentially a bad thing but well, Mama couldn't agree more with him. On the other hand, Mama seems to have forgotten how things were previously. Things didn't just change in a snap of my fingers but the forced transition has come in a rather predictable fashion (though loaded with much unpredictable events). Mama also find myself loving Papa abit differently now. Well, this is again not something bad. It is just part of growing up (old) with someone who would be in your life for a long time. We still do silly things and make silly jokes together, but we definitely have less time for them now. And when we decide to visit a new restaurant our main concern would be whether it is kids friendly (i.e. whether we can save the rest of the diners from a possibly fussy baby). The last time we were out shopping, we ended up in the kids' section.

Mama is still resisting the idea of co-sleep. Papa is so not going to like it because sleep is very high on his priority list in life. As for Mama, I am a super light sleeper and with the little one on the same bed would mean lots of sleepless nights. The sleeping arrangement is still working out ok for now and I don't know how long this is going to last because I heard about how bad things are when the tiny ones start standing up/ walking and make the biggest fuss ever when trying to get out of their crib. The moments before heading to lala land is also the time I spend doing my last chat of the day with Papa so this is a treasured time.

With the little one, life seems to involve many plans and ironically many uncertainties. This is probably what makes parents beam when sharing experiences of parenthood.

Night bullying is reserved for Mama

Yesterday was Sunday a.k.a Papa's turn with the baby monitor. Papa had the baby monitor with him throughout the night on his side of the bed so Mama can rest well and start her Monday with less blues.

Aside the ocassional tossing around, Mischief slept through till 6.10a.m.

Well, Mischief has a target for his night pranks and the bull's eye is on Mama.

Food of love for the little man #2

Little mischief food repertoire now includes banana, avocado, apple,  pear, sweet potato,  green peas, carrot, pumpkin,  cottage cheese, brown rice, barley and will be soon starting peach! This weekend Mama has finally gotten down to prepare his yummy soup stock for his daily morning brown rice porridge that would last him for a week. No more plain porridge for now!

 

Green pea and peach, all pureed

 

 

Here's a picture of his vegetable and fruit supplies that would last him a couple of weeks.

 

When the going gets tough

This week was horrible.

I don't mean the weather, even if the temperature has been registering at 38 deg C for most afternoons. And I don't mean the work, even if I have tonnes of readings and catching ups to do after 7 months of absence. No, not the food, even if I am missing a bowl of home cook soup badly. And I don't mean the lack of time for a proper scrub down shower, a mask, manicure, a massage, time to catch up on my favourite TV shows, movies, a proper meal in a proper restaurant, (and the list goes on).

Yes, it's the big S word. And sleep it is. I have been so sleep deprived this entire week that I have been walking around in a daze. For some strange reason, little man started his pranks on me again. I lost count of the number of excuses we try to fool ourselves into (teething, learning to crawl, learning to stand, sitting up by himself) only to find this cycle of good sleep - bad sleep having a permanent presence and is most likely going to last till he becomes a toddler (or worse when he becomes 2,3,4,5 or 6???). On the first day, Mini was getting up fresh to start his day at 5a.m. sharp. And then it was 3.50a.m. the following day. I count myself lucky to be one of the Mamas whose baby sleep through the night from 8p.m., but getting up at 3.50a.m. and not wanting to get back to sleep is like receiving a present only to realise it is an empty box.

Another 4.5months to the toddler mark and I hope that the tough gets going!

This is our boy. A bit heavier, a bit longer and with a lot of attitude!

Food of love for the little man #1 - teething biscuit

Homemade teething biscuits for the little man.

Zero sugar and a hope for better health.

7 months out of Ma's tummy

Despite recovering from a low grade fever and having a dry cough that is taking away his appetite, the boy managed to charm the waitresses at the restaurant.

It has been 7 months and the boy grew so much in the past month. He's now crawling (though in an unglamorous fashion) and is dragging himself around the house. Mini now stretches out to me when I get back from work and demands for attention from Ma. This hasnt annoyed P much but the preferential treatment I am getting is making me feel so loved.

How very sweet and how very lovely.

:)

SAHM no more

So Mama is settling down back in the office, and life is back at full throttle. Back to work on Thursday for the first day and surprisingly felt like I have not been away for 7 months.

Back at home, little man chose to commemorate the day by starting to crawl for the first time. Papa who witnessed his new skill was impressed by his son's advancement. Yesterday eveining, Mini started crawling around in the living room, exploring the corners and grabbing everything he saw and stuffing them into his mouth. He also attempted to chew a corner of the wall.

This is getting fun.

At 28 weeks and 2 days

Having my last week of fun with the boy before getting down to serious business.

The boy is getting irrestibly cute. I know most parents would have said the same but I seriously think that my son will grow up to be a charmer. Just the other day a lady came by, knelt beside his stroller and gave him big kisses all over. When we are out for dinner or grocery shopping, he never goes by once without a stranger coming up then goes "oh how cute is this boy". In the pool yesterday a lady actually whipped out her phone and snapped some photos of Mini.

Dear Baby,

How I wish you will stay cuddly forever.
P.S. Sleep past 5 am everyday and Mama will plant you more wet kisses!

Mama

Re charging

Getting a massage at my favourite spa in CM. 2 more weeks before getting back to work.

I am going to miss this.

Half a year old

Dear Utt

I stared at the papaya tree in our backyard the other day and thought to myself how fast things have happened. When I first had you, the tree was a seedling. The first fruit appeared while you were inside me. Gonggong and Popo had the first fruit that the tree bore when they were here waiting to receive their first grandchild. There were countless mornings that Mama walked you in the garden pointing to everything I see so as to keep you occupied and distracted when you start your day. The tree is now as tall as our neighbour's house and is bearing as many as 20 fruits. And you my baby is starting to cry "Mama! Mama!" whenever you are annoyed or asking for attention.

Mama is going back to work in a month's time. I don't know how I will fare juggling both but I will be trying my best. I fear to even think of the work travels I will have to make in time to come. I wish I can lug you along but Mama is seldom going to places that are interesting enough for toddler, let alone infants.

In the next few weeks I will do nothing but enjoy the time we have together and take a good rest before rest becomes a foreign word.

Mama

At 25 weeks

Our Mini is looking so grown up already. He is turning 6 months this Sunday!

The boy had his first solids yesterday morning - homemade brown rice cereal that Mama can't wait to serve. He didn't take it well yesterday but surprisingly took it with much acceptance this morning. At least the amount of mess was lesser and more food went in. Looking forward to more food options for the boy!

 

 

And the night awakenings continue

The poor boy sounded so traumatised when he screamed in his sleep. Mama wonder if it is teething pain that is causing the awakenings. If it is, I cannot imagine how bad it would be as more tiny teeth continue to sprout out in the next few months.

Post vacation

Mini has a harder time adjusting than the adults. On Day 1 he had 2 night awakenings, both needed coaxing to get back to sleep. Yesterday, Mini was crying and screaming in his sleep every hour from 11pm. I hope tonight would be better because Mama is very tired and is recovering from a flu. For the whole of today I have been in a daze and headache is here again after my brief afternoon nap

Electronics rock

Post dinner activity

At 21 weeks

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At 20 weeks

 

The little man a bit taller, heavier and certainly with more character. 2 more days to a much looked forward trip back home and Mama already started losing sleep last night. I know it's crazy to be this nervous but I just can't help it. I hope he survives the plane ride and settles well at night!

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In the year that we are all supposed to die

In case you are like me (i.e. busy and extremely occupied), you might have not noticed until you accidentally move your mouse over the right bottom corner of your screen that January is almost over. 23 days of 2013 just flew by like that. This is just so unbelievable.

And despite being kept busy by Mini's routine, I have many occasions in a day to sort, re-sort and un-sort thoughts in my mind. One of the recurring idea that keeps popping up involves setting resolutions for 2013. Even as a chapter of the year is almost closing, it is never too late for resolutions. As a matter of fact, for resolutions to be effective they need to be time bound, but that does not mean it needs to be calendar bound. Well, let's take it that my year starts in February.

On the other hand, I have procrastinated penning resolutions for 2013 as I have increased skepticism in the need to do so. I am  not so sure about setting resolutions for myself this year. Motherhood has led me to believe that you just can't be in control of your life all the time. Perhaps not being in control and letting things happen makes an otherwise boring and predictable life more exciting. A somewhat more valuable thing to do seems to be recalling what happened in the past year, and making sense of the 365 days that went by.

Summing up, 2012 was one of the most eventful year of my life. Obviously nothing can contest going through 38 weeks having a baby growing inside you for the first time in your life without your close ones around (of course except for P who I am very glad to have beside me all the time). But a lot had also happened in 2012.

Work wise, in the year that some thought the world is going to end, I completed my visits to all country offices in Asia. First half of 2012 was filled with travels and it brought me to many places around Asia and letting me meet many people who I wish we have more time together with. My 2-week trip to Burma at 7 weeks pregnant was one of my most memorable work trip. During my visit, I met people who are passionate about the cause they believe in and that made me love and appreciated my work so much more. And then there was also the visit to New Delhi that gave me the chance to visit the magnificent Taj Mahal. Before I left for my maternity leave, I was informed that we secured a grant from EU. Last month, another country office got through to the full proposal stage for a global call. These were all fantastic stuff. In 2012 I also got involved with humanitarian issues which has since been made my official portfolio. I remember the days when I scrambled to send off my resume to Mercy Relief during the early days of the tsunami when it happened in 2004, only to be greeted by a cold air of silence. And when I was offered the opportunity to work with humanitarian issues I thought to myself that: "MAN, THIS IS IT!".

As I have been reminded by myself frequently, this is my 6th year away from Singapore. And you would have thought that I should be getting used to the notion of being away from home. I am not sure if this is going to happen, but it has yet to. Increasingly, I am feeling emotional as the time spent away from home lengthens. Because, let's face it, my folks are getting older and they probably need me around more now than before. My dad who has retired for half a year now gives me a call almost every other day. I try not to read too much into the frequency, but on days when I am feeling a bit down, it saddens me a lot to think about how little time and companionship I can offer him at the time that he needs the most. And for every merit I make in life, I wish and pray for nothing in return except good health for my folks because nothing really matters more than that at this age they are at. And in 2012, I felt very blessed for the arrival of Utt and my dad's retirement, we managed to spend a month together. I haven't had the chance to spend this much time with them since I left Singapore in 2007. It has been a long time and I am glad that I can finally feel like a pampered child again. At least for one full month. And as the year wrapped up in December, we also gladly had MM and Hoe visiting.

Nothing crazy happened to my marriage in 2012 which is a blessing in disguise to a couple half a decade married. In the year that we finally called ourselves parents, I was glad to have found P more giving than ever. In 2012 we made adjustments together as a family. Our mornings now start at 6-7 and our nights end before 10. We count ourselves very lucky to be able to have a few hours of couple time after putting Mini down to sleep at 7 every night. Brave was the movie we last saw in the theatre but it doesn't seem to matter that much now that we may have to miss blockbusters, suppers and night out for a while.

2012 was good to me and I am sure 2013 will be the same .

At 19 weeks

Dear Mini,

Mama cannot believe that it has been 19 weeks. You have been such a joy to be with in the past few weeks, entertaining us with your babbles and smiles. Mama hopes that when I return to work in 2 months' time, I can juggle work with my new role as a caregiver well. I know it sounds stupid, but Mama is missing you already. The idea of going back to work and spending so little time with you on a typical weekday just seems so alien. I trust P'Inn will take good care of you while Mama is at work, but the thought of being away from you sucks quite a bit.

Mama hopes that we will all do fine with the new arrangement.

Love,
Mama

When the man takes charge

Today is the first day Papa is trying his hands in putting Mini to sleep all by himself, meaning bathing then feeding and singing the Mini lullabies before putting him down into his cot and sneaking out of his room.

And Papa did it!

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Taking shape

18 weeks on and Mama is still trying to get rid of the last 2-3 kg. Breastfeeding has helped a lot with the initial weight loss but the last lap needs additional discipline and effort. And so, Mama is taking extra care in my food intake. 

Lunch this afternoon:  Organic greens with tuna in extra virgin olive oil. Mama is taking extra care to make sure that the food I eat is beneficial for Mini by including healthy choices and today's avocado!

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A third of a year old!

The day little man turned 4-month old. Mama is looking forward to feeding him some solids in 2 month's time!

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Testosterone filled to the brim

The man, Mini and the buddy.

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Confessions of a Mama #1

This is mini at 16 weeks. A late post as he is in fact turning 17 tomorrow.

Mini man has been making vast improvements when it comes to sleep but Mama has learnt not to be overly proud of it as I always seem to jinx myself by doing so. Nevertheless, it definitely is a development that is worth celebration.

*Touchwood*

The plane ride back to Singapore would be the next big test for both Mama and Utt. Mama is keeping my fingers crossed that the comfort boobies are still in operation by then. There always come a time that you wish that the milk supply will never cease as nothing seems to ever comfort the Mini man better than Mama's assets. Whether we want it or not, the breastfeeding journey is gonna end soon and I am hoping with all my might that the weaning process is going to be fine for the both of us.

I am a self declared non breastfeeding fanatic but the past 4 months of putting Mini man close to me and having him feel comforted by boobies is an experience that is rather indescribable. Getting up in the middle of the night for the night feeds has given me a lot of thinking time, particularly effective in the wee hours as there is absolutely nothing else to distract you in the darkness when there is only yourself, the Mini and silence of the night. In the later months when the night awakenings were easier to handle and lesser in frequency, the night feeds were preciously treasured as time that Mama could reflect on events that took place in the day while looking down at the Mini who is at his cutest. When it comes to motherhood, you seem to be in control of nothing and this is probably what makes it the most challenging.

Sometimes in life, we just have to let others take the steering wheel. This time it is Mini.

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